Thursday 7 October 2010
OMG I've become Daily Mail Mum
So the big political news for mums this week is the child benefit cuts. They're not going to be introduced until 2013, and I may well be back at work by then, but if I'm not J and I are going to be one of those families hit pretty hard by this, in fact, one of those families the Daily Mail are getting all hot under the collar in defense of. I'm stunned, how did I end up being on the same side as the Mail? I think part of the problem is that somehow being a stay at home mother (the DM obviously doesn't consider families with stay at home dads....) is equated with 'small c' conservatism, 1950s values, housewifery etc. I would consider myself a staunch feminist and find it endlessly frustrating that the assumption is made that stay at home mums hold 'traditional' values. Surely in fact being a feminist should elevate the role of child-rearing as an important, intelligent role (alongside working if that's the choice / necessity). In fact, is stay at home motherhood only seen as anti-feminist because a traditionally male-orientated society branded the role as inconsequential? Your thoughts, ladies, would be appreciated.
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I think feminism is an opaque philosophy, with badly burned women who've suffered at the hands of men at one end, like (I am assuming) Germaine Greer, who waxes lyrical about the stupidity of the opposite sex and at the other, our gallant ladies, the Pankhurt sisters, who saw the importance of two heads being better than one, of a collaboration between the sexes rather than a society of mutual exclusion...
ReplyDeleteOn a personal level, I believe that being a woman does not mean compromising on those magical qualities, like sensitivity, maternal instinct and compassion. It is often said that Alexander was probably one of the finest Generals in history because he was both a man and gay and therefore understood the value of the feminine mystique whilst employing his military strategies.
I do think women like Germaine have misunderstood what the Pankhursts were fighting for - equality of state of mind, not of body and battle. Contemporary feminists seem, to me at least, to be filled with anger and a determination to assimilate themselves into the male mindset, but I believe this is a weak approach and unwittingly highlights an inferiority complex which strikes to the heart of our being, as women.
We are just as powerful, useful and intelligent as men, but our tools can vary and rather than reject those wonderful assets, to my mind it must be said, I believe we should embrace them and enhance them, with integrity and elegance; something women can do very well and with ease.
Like you, I feel feminism should be about celebrating and acknowledging the differences rather than reducing them. Contrast is the mother of invention :-)
I am a housewife, I am a stay at home mum, but I am not made to do either of those jobs, I choose to. Surely the whole anti-feminist thing comes from having to do those roles because you have no choice, there is no place for you in the workforce, yadda yadda.
ReplyDeleteI'm very lucky to be in a position where I can stay at home with my children (and seemingly by keeping my child benefit, be paid for it!)
Yes, I also hate the assumption that feminists are anti-men. I was delighted when I found out I was having two boys and believe that feminism should hopefully be about appreciating the differences between sexes if and when they exist and allowing both sexes freedom of choice. One positive development in recent decades must be the increased involvement of dads in their children's lives and most of my male friends love this role that would effectively have been denied to them in the 50s.
ReplyDeleteAmy, I agree with you about choice - however I would never, ever describe myself as a housewife! I really hate it when people ask you to describe your occupation on the phone and list you as housewife when you say you're a full time Mum. As much as possible we share housework and I see my day job as looking after the kids not the house!